Bees in the Trap…No Minaj

What’s  that trap, you say? The social media trap.

I once had someone say, er, tweet, that “the world would be a better place” if I tweeted more. So I did. But I found that I wasn’t being authentic and I felt pretty blah about it. When I first entered the modern social media arena — post MySpace — I had a twitter account that just sat there collecting space dust. I used my Facebook account a little bit, but this was back when you had to have a college email address. They were “out there” and I was “here” living in the real world.

But then I decided to get a Twitter account for Super Hussy Media, as I intended to have a super-successful production company overnight (which hasn’t happened, but one day!) and used that one exclusively. At one point, I was all up in the Black Twitter frackus — being witty, snarky, and hella funny. But that got tired fast. It required me to be “ON” and all up in everything all the time and that’s not who I am. Wait, I’m witty, snarky and hella funny, but I’m way more than that. WAY MORE. I found that by being SUPER HUSSY, I had become inauthentic and that drained me, so I stopped. I even stopped posting on the Tumblr account.

I realized that for me, social media isn’t about me purposely going out to win friends and influence people — it’s a digital extension of my life.

See, I fell into that trap.

I’ve seen it way too many times where folks have created these alternate personas online and it takes something out of them because they are expected to be “that” way in the real world and they aren’t, at all. No one is funny, gregarious, snarky and so over-the-top 24/7.

So what did I do? I pretty much “quit” being a super hussy and went back to being Aiesha. I didn’t care how many followers I lost, what other folks’ expectations of me were, or how it would appear. I’m fine being Aiesha. I don’t tweet every day or to gain followers. I jump into conversations only if I really have something to contribute and I realized that for me, social media isn’t about me purposely going out to win friends and influence people — it’s a digital extension of my life. The folks I correspond with the most on social media are folks I already know or want to get to know — for whatever reasons.

I’ve also unfollowed, de-friended and blocked folks that I have no real reason to connect with. There is no need for me to follow celebs and virtual-celebs or even regular Ray Ray, if they aren’t giving me any added value. I’ve really begun to use social media as a tool for myself — whether it’s Pinterest (my virtual vision board), Facebook (where I keep up with my friends, family and welcome new folks in the cypher), Twitter (which is kinda like my virtual coffee break) or Tumblr (where I tend to just get things off my chest right quick) or Instagram (my digital scrapbook) — I do it all for me; not likes or +1’s or retweets. It’s all for me.

I’ve stopped pretending like I’m this extrovert and embraced the INFJ that I am. With all the tools out there, both virtually and in the “real world” it’s best to use them in a manner that works for me. If you like it, cool. If not, that’s cool too. All I know is that I worked my way out of the trap and rid myself of the anxiety that comes with fronting — there’s no future in that.