Moment

Today’s Reverb10 prompt is:

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

Here is mine:

In two days, I had less than 5 hours of sleep. I was on edge, afraid, excited, nervous, but oddly calm. I watched calmly as folks filed in to the Spike Lee Theater at Long Island University for the premier screening of my first film, The Black Girl Project. I knew that tickets had been sold, but in the back of my mind, I pictured the crowd would consist of my parents, family and close friends. I was wrong.

I was in a fog. It was almost as if i was in a dream. Although the theatre was was painted a bright lilac, I was in a smokey haze of purples and grays. I could hear the murmurs of side conversations, see folks chatting animatedly, and smell the sweet, comforting aroma of red velvet cupcakes, but i was removed from it all.

As the crowd trickled in, helping themselves to the cocktails and desserts, I could feel my heart beating in the back of my throat. I hugged friends as they entered, smiled at complete strangers, and tried not to sweat bullets as I participated in my first-ever on-camera interview.

Then, it was time. The introduction was made, pleasantries exchanged between our host and the crowd and it was my turn to speak. I had no idea what I was going to say and focused my gaze on my husband, mom and daughter; particularly my daughter, whose six-year old toothy smile calmed my down. No longer did I feel like my insides were going to jump out of my skin.

I had no idea what I said, but soon I was in my seat and the credits appeared. At that moment, after 3 years of thinking about the film and executing it with no budget — just hope, a camera and a metrocard — my eyes welled up and it was if Niagara Falls came pouring from my eyes.  It was time. I put myself out there and the return was beginning. It was my moment.